• Please remember to doublespace your stories. Place your name and the story number at the top, along with a slug line. (Refer to your syllabus if you’re not sure what a slug line is.)
• When it comes to numbers, remember this rule: Spell out one to nine. Use numerals for 10+. Exceptions are ages and years.
• It’s tractor-trailer (Needs a hyphen). This is the precise term for “semi” which is used in speech but not in writing.
• Avoid repetition in a news story. Be consise and to the point. Offer new details as you move through the story rather than restate what you already said.
• Question - How important do you think the traffic piece of this is to your readers? Should that information be placed earlier in the story instead of at the end?
AVOID WORDINESS IN NEWS STORIES
As it is in other styles of writing, you want to avoid wordiness and redundancy in news stories.
Ex) I-790 had to be closed.
FIX: I-790 was closed.
Ex) Sgt. Albert Wei counted the number of vehicles involved at 18.
FIX: Sgt. Albert Wei said 18 vehicles were involved.
MAKE SURE YOUR QUOTES ARE ACCURATE
Many of you made some of the quotes from the story into direct quotes. I applaud your desire to add direct quotes into the news story, and agree that it does make a story more powerful. However, in this instance, there were no direct quotes in your notes. If you don’t know for sure something is a direct quote, you can’t use it as such. One of the places reporters get into trouble with is their quotes. You want to be as correct as possible. Never make changes to how someone said something either.
SHOW DON’T TELL
Many of you included adjectives like “violent” and “severe” to describe the crash. Pull those out of your writing whenever you see them there. In journalism you want to show, not tell the reader. By using details like “deaths of two people” or “20 injured” readers can judge for themselves what type of crash this was.
PUNCTUATION OF QUOTES
We'll be learning about how to correctly punctuatate quotes next week when we read Chapter 10 in our textbook. However, if you want to work on this area now, I encourage you to do the chapter 2 exercise in chapter 10 on pages 266-67. There is an answer key in the back so you can check your work and learn as you go.
YOUR CITY
When your textbook says “your city”, go ahead and substitute the name of a city, such as Coon Rapids.
YOUR LEADS
Read through these leads to see how your fellow classmates approached this subject. I’m sure you’ll get some ideas on what to do next time and some ideas of what to avoid.
• A fatal accident occurred this morning at 6:45 a.m. on Interstate 790, on the western edge of Forest Lake.
• Four tractor trailers and 14 cars were involved in an accident at 6:45 a.m. today on Interstate 790 north bound near the west side of Anytown, Minn.
• Two people were killed and 20 others injured in an early morning crash involving four tractor trailers and 14 cars on the northbound lanes of Interstate 790.
• A deadly car crash pile-up, involving 18 vehicles, occurred at 6:45 a.m. this morning on Interstate 790.
• The grisly 18-vehicle pileup on I-790 this morning at 6:45 a.m. “looked like something from a war zone,” according to Fire Chief Tony Sullivan.
• Two people were killed and many others injured in this mornings commute when two tractor-trailers collided on Interstate 790.
• A crash between two tractor-trailers, at 6:45 a.m. this morning, led to a massive chain of car wrecks on the northbound lanes of Interstate 790 that has left two dead and 20 injured.
• Two tractor trailers collided around 6:45 this morning on Interstate 790, leaving two dead and twenty people injured.
• A tractor-trailer containing diesel fuel collided with another trailer early this morning on I-790, leaving two dead and 20 injured.
• Until this morning's accident on the east side of Big Lake, Chief Tony Sullivan had never witnessed anything this bad in his 18_ years with the fire department.
• Two people were killed today and 20 were injured in a multiple vehicle accident on Interstate 790 at 6:45 a.m.
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